Effective communication skills in relationships are highly important for the success or otherwise of the relationship. A relationship that lacks communication is headed towards destruction as the parties are mostly filled with bitterness, anger, regret, resentment and even hatred. The negative energy in a relationship that lacks communication hangs over the air very strongly and is visibly a bad thing to allow in a relationship. Therefore, every couple must learn the act of improving communication skills in relationships to strengthen the relationship.
To communicate effectively, you need to listen, understand, respond to, and explain matters in a calm tone and appropriate manner. Not for once should you let your emotions get the better of your communication with your partner because emotions becloud judgment and can cause you to do what you would otherwise not have done?
Positive Communication Skills in Relationships
Listen attentively and provide appropriate responses
Communication involves two parties or more (in the case of your relationship, two!). If your partner ever has any reason to require that you both hold necessary conversations, you must listen to your partner. Not just listen, you must be well invested in the conversation by focusing all your attention on the conversation and getting rid of every other possible disturbance for the duration of the conversation. Also, when the situation warrants, provide adequate and appropriate responses to questions asked and issues raised. This is the way by which you can have fruitful and effective communications among each other.
Avoid personal criticism or the passing of judgment
Accusations and criticisms are not good examples of effective communication skills that you must imbibe in your relationship. Instead of improving the situation, criticisms will further compound the problems. What you should do is make use of appropriate body language, tone of voice and choice of words. Yelling and shouting will solve nothing. The way you communicate with your other half will have a large effect on how your partner perceives the situation, and ultimately on the quality of your communication. Therefore, rather than criticizing or using personal reproach for your partner and put them on the defensive, incorporate the group word. Use “we” in place of “you” and you’ll be able to communicate more effectively and get a better result.
Understand one another
This is an important communication skill every couple should develop. No relationship will be smooth and all-rosy, but understanding your partner quite well will go a long way in ensuring that you get to communicate appropriately. Putting yourself in your partner’s shoes will allow you to understand their perspective more and be more appreciative of their sacrifices, choices and good deeds. Understanding your partner is a very important communication enabler that you must incorporate into your relationship to strengthen it.
Ask questions and seek explanations when needed
Conversations are not one-directional, they are meant to be a two-way flow of call and response. When you ask open-ended questions, you are giving your partner the chance and opportunity to share their own insight and view about the situation on the ground. Closed questions are more interrogative than communicative, and are, therefore, not suitable for use in communications between you and your partner. Instead, you should ask questions that will require them to provide answers and share their opinion on the said situation. Seeking explanations and asking due questions is a very potent communication skill that any and every couple must imbibe if they intend to deepen their communication and strengthen their relationship.
Use the first-person reference
When you ask questions and request explanations from your partner, ensure you fit in yourself regularly as part of the question. What this means is that whenever you’re asking a question, you should incorporate yourself into it so as not to make your partner feel isolated, judged or personally attacked. A statement like “I feel you stay out late because I’m becoming more boring” is more involving than accusing your partner “you are cheating” or any other accusatory reference.
Appreciate your partner
Appreciation is important! Your partner will definitely be glad that you appreciate them, and that might even serve as motivation for them to keep up their good deeds. As humans, we all cherish the feeling of being appreciated by people and if you cultivate the habit of appreciating things you like about your partner and any of your partner’s good deeds, it serves as a positive reinforcement for them. They might also reciprocate the appreciation and this will, in the long run, improve the quality of your communication and strengthen your relationship.
To also improve your communication, it is good that you accept the impact of your partner on you and your choices. Trying to deny the fact that your partner has a way of influencing you is not the way. Being truthful with yourself, however, will help you communicate better with your partner and improve your relationship.
It has been said times and times over that “communication saves relation”. This is very true! No relationship can survive without effective communication. It is for this reason that you must develop these communication skills to ensure you and your partner are more than able to communicate effectively and strengthen your relationship.
The role of proper appreciation of your partner, listening attentively, asking questions when needed, avoiding personal accusation and many other communication skills in a relationship can never be underestimated.