Reasons Why You Keep Attracting the Same Type of Guy and How to Change It

a guy looking at a blonde

A certain trait in you will keep attracting a certain type of guy. You may find yourself continuously dating the parasite or the player. It does not care if you want some change or not. Maybe you have not noticed the trait, but the pattern of guys getting in your life can be worrying or exciting.

Many people will claim that they are okay but they do not understand why ‘bad type’ of guys keep getting into their lives. Actually, they might be a problem. Their characters will tend to attract a certain subset of people. Sometimes you wonder if it is possible to attract a different type of guy.

Reasons Why You Are Not Attracting a Different Type of Guy

  • As a woman, it is easy to be attracted to a character you are familiar with. Guys of the same type will possess the same character. For example, players will possess a characteristic of smooth and sweet talking. If you are used to this, it is easy to fall for another sweet talker without knowledge they may be players. Unless you have a clear understanding of the characteristics of a player, you will continue falling for them.
couple with coffee drinks in cafe
  • Every woman has an ‘ideal’ type of guy they want in mind. This usually happens through mind coaching. This happens through constantly reminding yourself what you want in a man. Every time you meat this ‘ideal guy’ possessing your ‘ideal characteristics’, you feel like he is ‘the one’. This fulfillment is short lived as you will soon notice the usual turn off trait. That liar, narcissist, player or parasite might be back in the form of another guy.
  • Sometimes, girls get into relationships because all their girlfriends are in one. They have no personal desires for a relationship. This is a dangerous trait as it shows you have no idea what you are looking for. This would mean, if a guy is attracted to you, no matter how their turn-off characteristics are pronounced, you will not notice, because all you need is a guy in your life. If a guy is sweet and soft-spoken, it gives him an advantage over others. Here a narcissist and a player will be the greatest beneficiaries.
a man whispering something to a dark-haired girl
  • Sometimes, you might have a clear picture of your ‘ideal guy’ in mind. He ought to possess some great characteristics. He might be every woman’s dream. But he might never cross your path, could this be your fate? Of course no. maybe you are impatient or possess some narcissistic traits. They may be a reason you keep attracting the wrong guys in your life. Self-evaluation might help in fixing this problem.
  • Communication is vital in any relationship. It ensures that the partners are living in mutual harmony. Desires and expectations are well laid down and hence partners understand each other. The outcomes of communication breakdown may be detrimental. This will create perpetual fear among partners. When there is no communication, there is no understanding among yourselves. If you do not open up to your partner early in your relationship, you will end up with the ‘same’ person you recently dropped.
couple in street cafe

Steps on How to Attract the Right Type of Guy

  • Let your ‘no’ mean ‘no’. There is no time for games. If you say you are not interested, let it remain so. Otherwise, if you get mad after they withdraw your attention, then you might be giving you a loophole to play with your heart.
  • Set the record straight. Let the guy understand that you respect yourself. Show it by your dressing and actions. Maintain a positive attitude as it shows the kind of person you are.
a man and a woman standing on bridge in distance
  • Do not post provocative photos of yourself in social media platforms. Unless you are a bikini model, let your body remain private. Exposing yourself too much to the public will create an impression that you are insecure. It portrays low self-esteem that will require public approval to elevate it. This will be a total turn off to a serious, well composed, upright guy.
  • Be open about your feelings. If he is the one he will stick around. You are tired of the secret relationship and might be wondering he will finally make it official. Let him know. This will send a message that you are self-conscious and you know exactly what you want. Hiding your feelings in order to protect a guy’s ego is a girl’s greatest enemy. However, it is wise to communicate every message at the right time to avoid unnecessary fights.
a couple in street cafe looking each other in eyes
  • Don’t revenge the mistakes of others on him. Dragging your past frustrations into a relation will kill it at infancy. If your ex was a narcissist, do not treat your new guy as one. He was not there when you were undergoing the pain. Let the new relationship heal you the wounds of the past. However, it is advisable to remain cautious.
  • Enjoy your new relationship. Removing your mind in the past relationships and creating new memories will make both of you happy. He will feel loves since he is not being compared to others. He will surely reciprocate.


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