Ways to Better Understand Your Partner

a couple in white shirts sitting on the floor

Understanding your partner is very important and crucial to a relationship. What people do not realize is that every individual is different. If you wanted to live and build a relationship with someone, the best know is to understand each other better. This way, it will be easy to compromise if there is a problem that you have to face.

Tips to Understand Your Partner

1. Presence

The most important thing that you should do if you would like to know your partner better is by being fully present. Put your partner at the top when it comes to your time together.

In today’s world, it is very easy to get distracted and to not pay full attention. If you want to understand your partner better, then the best way to do is to start paying attention. Pay attention to when he or she was telling you a story. Pay attention to what they were truly saying, and what are the things that they love most without having them spell it out. Paying attention and being present is truly the key to how to understand your partner’s personality.

Once you have truly understood your partner, it is natural that your partner will respond in curiosity and attempt to understand you back. This will lead to a better relationship quality overall.

2. Open up

Likewise, you would like to understand your partner better, then you have to instigate the change by opening up first. This might be a scary idea for you. Most people are afraid to open up because they are afraid that their partner would judge them or think that something is wrong immediately.

The first thing that you should do if you decide to open up or bring any awkward topic for a conversation is by following up with an explanation. Reassure your partner that the reason that you open up comes from you and not because your partner had done something bad or terrible.

Another most important thing that you should do if you have decided to touch upon the topic is that you have to ensure that you continue the conversation. If it is a topic that is going to make your partner feel awkward, then you should not assume that your partner would automatically dive into it even after you have opened the topic.

Couple looking through the window

3. Take a personality test

This might not be the best way to understand your partner, but it will generally give you some ideas. To ensure that your partner does not feel like he is being put under the spotlight, you should also contribute is way, in taking the test.

After taking the test, you can compare the result of it. An important note that you should remember that it is not physiologically right to box someone into a personality template. The truth is, there is no personality test that is accurate. However, the personality test will be able to give you a general idea of how your partner thinks, their thinking pattern, as well as their expectations.

One of the most important personality tests is Myer’s Briggs personality test. This test has been used by a lot of companies and organizations alike to better understand their employee or even themselves.

4. Ask question

This is another most effective tool to understand your partner. You need to ask the important and necessary questions. However, you need to be able to do this in a very subtle manner. If you ask your partner or significant other with a point-blank question, then you might get a defensive answer which you would not like to have.

Instead, you should relate to what is going on with your partner’s life. You need to think of the external or internal factors that might push your partner to do or act in a certain manner. Use your instinct as well. In this way, you will be able to get to know your partner better.

a man kissing a hand of a woman in white t-shirt

5. Family and friends

There is a saying that goes like this “We are shaped by people that surrounds us”. That saying is totally true. There are a lot of psychology studies that prove that we subconsciously think and mimic the act of people that are around us. This is the same mechanism that a child would do when they were little. They would mimic the person around them.

If you would like to better understand your spouse or your partner, then it is the best way that you should try to spend some quality time with his or her family and friends.

By doing so, you will be able to understand the kind of people that your partner has picked unconsciously. If he is surrounded by a loving family who liked to joke around, he might be the type of person who likes to tease and joke because that is what he has been doing with his close circle.

There is a lot of other ways that will help you to be able to understand your partner better. However, the best way is to understand your partner’s intentions, instead of his action. There are times where your partner might have done something because of a certain intention.

Another important thing that you need to know when it comes to understanding your partner is that you have to remember that no one is perfect and there will always be a flaw in someone’s personality. If you truly intend on building a long-lasting relationship with your partner, then you have to be able to accept his or her flaws.
Without that kind of feeling or motivation, then there is no point in attempting to understand your partner. Your partner should not have held an unrealistic expectation over their head.



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