This is not something we should take lightly especially in learning how to pray for healing for someone else. Bring your loved one’s prayer requests to God during your quiet time. 4) When guilt still plagues you, even after you've confessed and forsaken your sins, then those feelings are false guilt. Now it’s your turn. That’s a perfect time to ask God not to vacuum your feelings away, but to help your heart to start to let go, to help you move on. So long as you indulge yourself with this woman, you'll have feelings for her. I don't want to end our friendship just because I'm some weirdo who can't control his emotions. If you can, take a break from this person for a while. -Or perhaps she doesn't feel the way you do, but your openness to share your feelings with her give provision for the flesh. 12:2, emphasis added). Nothing has helped or worked. Your happiness matters to Him but your salvation and growth matter more. If you walk in the will of God and remove her from your life he will bring to you the healing and relief that you're looking for. Delete any pictures you have of her. The only one who gains from this confession is you. But you can’t pray for God to reveal these things to you and then disregard them when He shows you this person is not the one for you. This was longer than I intended but please, if anyone has any advice, please let me know. God May Have Taken that Relationship Away from You to Protect You from Getting Hurt More Than You Even Realized Was Possible. I'm not going to do that though. The thing about emotions is that if you suppress the negative ones you simultaneously suppress the positive ones. So when we began to have our share of problems, I began to pray. Only separation will heal you and restore your heart to a rightful place. You need to stop speaking to this woman. Thanks for the advice, but I won't be removing her from my life. To have feelings for someone who doesn't reciprocate them and isn't that into you feels terrible. God gave you your emotions and feelings for a reason and the idea is not to get rid of them but to manage them well. 3 Reasons God May Remove Someone From Your Life… Sometimes we get upset when our friends and family disappear when we seem to need them the most. Most likely He will make you deal with it so you learn to not to get obsessive about a woman and handle yourself properly,...which will be a bigger benefit for you as you go into the future, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the christiandatingadvice community, Continue browsing in r/christiandatingadvice. In the event that you discover you need some assistance, consider contacting a professional to get some extra support through the process. I'll try to keep it short. And He hasn't. This does not need to be permanent. I'll try to keep it short. Yes, you’ll feel like a … If your standards align with God, its definitely not to high and you shouldn’t believe what a person says, you should be believing what God says. And it didn't help much. Such permission was given in Job's case. Scientifically what your feeling are chemicals your body makes when its happy sad etc. Philippians 4:6-7. “You can have loving feelings for someone long after you’ve chosen to not be in a relationship with them,” Susan Winter, an NYC-based relationship expert, tells Elite Daily. In Jeremiah 31, God promises that He will fully satisfy the weary soul, and will replenish every languishing and sorrowful person (Jer 31:25). Pray to save your marriage yes but He will not do these things in your marriage: 1. God can’t live with sinful people who are committing terrible crimes and hurting each other…so in the Old Testament God punished people for the sins they committed. Your void will be filled once you approve and feel excited about your life as it is now. One of my relationships, I REALLY wanted to work. And when a man marries his wife is the only female "close friend" he has. He is the source of our blessings. Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Steps. Work Through Your Feelings . After all, God is powerful enough to end your suffering, but He hasn’t. God probably convicted her to stop messaging you to say, "Hey if you want to lose these feelings for her, then stop interacting with her". So I know there's no chance we'll ever be together and I don't want that. That’s all a part of God’s plan. There is a part that you must do when you partner with God. Or “I don’t feel I have a future.” Well, you can. I've prayed the same prayer. Yea, he made John the Baptists father mute till the baby was born. You got all hung up on it because you fantasized about it too much before you tried. I've tried and I don't know what else to do. The first step of healing should be you making an effort to chase away thoughts of her from your mind. This tendency removes feelings from faith altogether. It's easy for someone to feel used and betrayed if you take certain actions in the name of experimentation. I cannot do this anymore. You can’t bear to see him with someone else. Imagine getting fired or failing a test and feeling no disappointment. He pours out his feelings to God, and then he holds his feelings up to the truth of who God is and compares the two. I learned that now, and I won't make it again. By close friend i'm referring to a friendship that involves: daily communication or emotional/relational conversation topics. One danger is emotionalism, in which we allow our feelings to interpret our circumstances and form our thoughts about God. Communicating your feelings for someone can be tricky at first, but there are many other ways of expressing yourself other than blurting out, "I love you." It was with a woman who was single. And what does He want me to do? Nothing good can come from this. Just like the article says, he shouldn’t compromise your walk with God. But the honest truth about loving someone you can’t be with is no matter how long you spend apart and grow on your own, those feelings don’t just go away. Paula Marsteller no longer tries to catch guys' attention by swallowing live goldfish, arm wrestling, and jumping down flights of stairs. We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. So the next time you want to blame God for your feelings, first ask yourself: Then bring your feelings to God, taking them to His Word and placing them before Him in prayer. All Rights Reserved. I have been in a similar situation, though it was not with a woman who was married. Men don't get over things as quickly as women do. God did not take away my anxiety disorder that night as I lay face down on the bathroom floor of my apartment. Reply. She knew already and was really flattered. I ended up confessing my feelings letting her know I didn't intend to act on them. God definitely can help you with your feelings you have for your ex. The servant with 5 talents traded and got 5 more. After all, God is powerful enough to end your suffering, but He hasn’t. The only outcomes are bad: -She reciprocates your feelings, leaves her family, and begins an adulterous relationship with you. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. You like unto a drunk man sitting at a bar. I ended up confessing my feelings letting her know I didn't intend to act on them, I respected the boundaries there but I just had to get it off of my chest. Try this: Talk to someone today, perhaps a family member or a trusted friend. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. God understands you’re only human. This was a lot to read, thanks for the reply. God might not take away the desire you have, but by spending time with Him we learn how to master our minds. Isaac Malsawmtluanga says: May 29, 2019 at 1:09 am. Does God Still Reveal Whom We Should Marry? Confessing your feelings to a married woman cannot possible lead to anything good. And just like Job, God may take something away, but He will always make it worth your while. Negative feelings turned into praise are an ornament for our Lord and Savior! Sign up and we'll send our latest blog post right to your inbox. He’s a wonderful Christian, a great listener, and really seems to care about your feelings. His goal is not to hurt you; it is to save you. I think He did somewhat but it took a long time. That's basically what everyone else has suggested. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Colossians 3:1-25 ESV / 42 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Short answer: I don’t think He did give you feelings for this guy. There’s a reason why God moves your heart toward a specific person and a reason why you get attached to certain people more than others. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.” (Job 1:9–11) Yeah God, of course Job “fears” you when his life is full of blessings. Drinking away and gorging yourself on alcohol, then asking that God not let you get drunk. Farouk Radwan, author of "How to Get Over Anyone in a Few Days," insists that you must: "Tell your subconscious mind that it's over." He is supposed ot be impartial and love you unconditionally for who you are. It’s just too much. This is likely one of those times. God hears our prayers! Probably because I wasn't talking to her. What the Bible says: “Healthy people do not need a physician, but those who are ill do.”—Matthew 9:12.. Mention how the situation has hurt your feelings, leaving you to feel miserable. It's like the parable in the New Testament about the talents. Your body, mind, and spirit are affected by your good and bad choices. Once a woman is married her Husband is the only male "close friend" she has. * You might also express yourself by writing down your feelings. God’s promise is that by turning to prayer, he can take our worries away and actually give us peace! God doesn't give you feelings. You don't have to be mean or cut them out completely, but some distance is necessary for you to put these feelings to rest. Include Bible verses about healing in your prayers like Jeremiah 17:14, Isaiah 40:29, and Psalms 30:2. James 1:13–15 says: Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. I asked him to take it away, and God said, “No. The routine can lethal, but feelings for someone can be just as poison, they can kill you if you hold them for no good reason. I would argue that you actions towards this married woman go against the will of God and go against, as far as I can interpret, the teachings of the bible. 4) When guilt still plagues you, even after you've confessed and forsaken your sins, then those feelings are false guilt. Why or why not? But don’t! What’s worse, though? I wasn't sure if I'd ever speak to her again honestly. It might sound nice to do without these painful feelings, but none of us can deny that emotions give meaning and depth to our lives. The whole thing may feel rather tentative, so you still have some hesitancy about moving forward. Your brain gets addicted to … Give it time. We see the psalmist doing this over and over in the book of Psalms. When you and I hate, it’s usually because somebody did something to us or to someone we love. I hope this helps you. God's intervention isn't the only way to deal with your feelings though. God's Word is the first essential for spiritual growth. I found out she was married and had kids, and she was beautiful too. Does her husband know about her friendship with you? They either accept or they don't. Our thoughts, our imagination, and our daydreams are where so much of this struggle takes place, and so we have to start watching our thoughts. For example, someone says, “I don’t feel God loves me.” Well, He does. It can also mean a desire to be physically and emotionally close to others of your own sex as much as or more so than the opposite sex. God will not support your decisions and lift you up, if you continually are living outside of his will in your life. I've been in a similar situation, so don't think that I'm not sympathetic here. For one special kind of bad feeling, there is nothing to do but to wait it out. God rejoices “For as a young man marries a virgin, so your sons will marry you. You have to give up any hope that the relationship will work out and admit that it has run its course. But the servant with only one buried it. You have to give up any hope that the relationship will work out and admit that it has run its course. Serotonine, Dopanine, Epinephrine, Norepinephrine and so on. The Bible is full of promises about God’s faithfulness. How?I've also never been in love. Love me instead.” So my message to you single people is, use this gift of singleness as your undistracted time with him. I've begged God to not let me fall in love with this woman, I don't want to. And one has to wonder why she's back talking to you again when she knows how you feel but she's still married. Cheating can be physical or emotional, in my opinion. I ended up confessing my feelings letting her know I didn't intend to act on them, I respected the boundaries there but I just had to get it off of my chest. I only want to see her as a friend, and I pray for Him to take away these feelings that I have. Her husband is the one who she should confide in and he should confide in her. If they are involved with someone (or married) they will tell you. What if you hurt someone you love but felt no remorse or shame? She knew already and was really flattered. I've been praying to God constantly for him to not let me get attached to her again. I don't want to like this person because my parent's really don't like him and I don't want to like someone my parents don't approve of, So I prayed my feelings would dissolve. 3) Remember that God has promised to forgive your sin and take away your guilt by way of the blood of Christ. If your feelings for your partner are fading, or you’re developing feelings for someone else, talk before you act. If we do lose love, it doesn't mean we won't have the chance to love again, because we all have that chance. Matthew chapter 25 tells the story of a man who went traveling and gave one servant 5 talents, another 2 talents and another 1. The servant with 2 traded and got 2 more. 3. Circumstance #1: Change. What led me to feel this way? 3) Remember that God has promised to forgive your sin and take away your guilt by way of the blood of Christ. 8. And it didn't help much. Trust that promise (1 John 1:9; Psalm 85:2; 86:5; Romans 8:1). Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. I'd say if you're unable to have a conversation with her without all these feelings coming up, then you need to reduce the amount of time you're talking with her if not remove her from your life entirely. They become just like extra baggage and hold you back, until you leave them behind you. A few weeks ago she messaged me out of the blue wanting to catch up and such. The Bible expressly teaches us to control our feelings, not vice-versa. yes if you don't use the gifts God gives you He can take them away. Take responsibility for calming yourself to get through any challenging situation. It is also why, as God disciplines us (Hebrews 12:5–6) and conforms us to the image of his Son (Romans 8:29), he will, like Job, take away earthly things that are precious to us. I just want her as a close friend. Once you’ve written down your feelings towards the person, try to remember what … I have to give a bit of backstory for this question to make sense. I’d love to hear from you. I prayed to God then for him to heal my emotions and let me move on. If your feelings for your partner are fading, or you’re developing feelings for someone else, talk before you act. I asked God … If not, then you’re a part of an emotional affair in her marriage and need to end this asap. I wish you the best. This is putting feelings before faith. Anyway, some unrelated things happened where she had to take a break from things and focus more on her family. And while it may feel like you'll never be able to get past your feelings for someone, with time you'll find that it gets easier and easier. It is the religious establishment (people, not god) who frown upon homosexuality and have deemed it a "sin". How can you be sure your feeling is really from God? How would I handle my feelings myself though? But the pain we feel at knowing that the relationship will never come to fruition is hurtful and damaging. How do my feelings line up with God’s truth? When did I start to feel this way? You either offer someone a date or you don't. I have feelings for a guy friend. Trust that promise (1 John 1:9; Psalm 85:2; 86:5; Romans 8:1). And just because feelings don't die sometimes, doesn't mean your life can't be happy or fulfilling without their presence. The other danger is a kind of stoicism, where faith is rooted in theology but void of affection. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy," (Zephaniah 3:17). More than anything else, keep in mind that God’s love for you is unending. Accept that you can't let your feelings grow for this person. Unlike your husband. She's the author of Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom, and she and her family live in Central New York. I just want for these feelings to go away but it seems like God's not helping me out here =(. Cut contact. IMO: you cannot be "close friends" with a married women in almost any biblical context. I would say that this is the point where things started to go wrong. Yes, may you come to know his love—although it can never be fully known—and so be completely filled with the very nature of God. I'll just somehow learn to control my emotions however that may be. Is this love? You don’t need to be friends with this person, nor she with you. You can start to experience the inward renewal that the apostle Paul experienced when you come to God with your suffering. Paul wrote, "Prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ" (Eph. We may edit or remove your comment if it: Purchase your copy of the newly refreshed Lies Young Women Believe. God will not lead you to adultery. Redecorate your bedroom if you spent significant time there. I pray that you may have your roots and foundation in love, so that you, together with all God’s people, may have the power to understand how broad and long, how high and deep, is Christ’s love. I did make the mistake of confessing. Sometimes we get too dependent on our loved ones that we forget that God is the only one that can “Make us or Break us”. You can bury them and hide them and even love again. He may want me to figure out how to deal with them, I'm just lost on how. This means that we have to make sacrifices and sometimes we have to endure hardship, pain, or affliction to follow Jesus. God can use these people to bring you the gospel and give you solid advice. A blimp with giant hearts flying across the sky might be the flashy way to get your message across, but simpler ways of communication exist that might hold a bit more meaningful in expressing your heartfelt emotions. The hateful feelings we experience are closely tied to revenge. I honestly just didn't know any better, but now I do. So applying that Christian advice to the topic of “How to get over someone,” perhaps you can’t let that person go because “they still have a piece of you” (so to speak) when you worshiped them or looked to them to fill you in ways only God can. We quickly became great friends. Last year I met this woman on the internet through a forum. You believe that He exists, but it seems as if He is too busy with everything else, or He just doesn’t care. THAT DAY I REALIZED that though I thought I HAVE MOVED ON BUT FEELINGS WERE STILL THERE THEY DIDN’T FADE IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE . You cannot live outside and apart from the will of God AND ask him to also support you. The Bible clearly says God loves us and that He has good plans for … Yeah, I know you want your emotions to just fly past you and forget this entire thing ever happened. Everything changes except God, and letting all the changes in our lives upset us won't keep them from occurring. HEY, GIRLS! Could God take away the feelings? Every person has billions of neurons in his brain and everyday trillions of neurotransmitters are being triggered because of our experiences. What am I thinking and believing that is contributing to this feeling? Steps. You cannot control your feelings but how you can control your actions. But I don’t believe He feeds specific feelings into our hearts, like we’d feed a gum ball machine with quarters. * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. Your actions have consequences that bring pain. Cheating can be physical or emotional, in my opinion. Come to God with your suffering. I'm not going to abandon someone like that. Blessed be Your name. I don't want to end our friendship just because I'm some weirdo who can't control his emotions. So can God help in this situation? Last year I met this woman on the internet through a forum. Prayer to Our Father. Instead of praying for God to take your hope away, thank Him for allowing you this time to find your … If you offer someone a date sooner at the beginning, and they reject, it is no big deal because you haven't build up any fantasies yet. If things have changed so much for you, there’s a chance that your partner has already sensed it, or is experiencing something similar. Most changes take place without our permission. (She's married to a wonderful man now!) 35 Things I Wish I’d Known in High School. I've been praying to God constantly for him to not let me get attached to her again. Sometimes – often actually ... 7 Ways To Make Bad Feelings Go Away 1. Long story short: If you're being honest with yourself, your confession was only for your own benefit and couldn't possibly have helped her, you, or the relationship that you have with God. Suicidal thoughts may be a symptom of mental or emotional illness. Feelings that I’ve asked God to take away from me several times, but for whatever reason, He has not. This can be difficult to do, but is an important step to take to feel better. 4:12-13). By minimizing contact, coming to terms with the reality of the situation, and keeping yourself distracted and busy, you can get over any feelings of heartache or vulnerability you may be feeling because of unreturned affection. Some emotions we are told to control are: Fear - 2 Timothy 1:7 (cf. I only want to see her as a friend, and I pray for Him to take away these feelings that I have. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. Stop looking towards religion to solve all your problems, you either will find peace or youll go crazy and blame god. Any time you are emotionally looking for support from or emotionally supporting a married woman, you are in the wrong. We are told that any who believe in him and wish to follow him should, "Take up their cross and follow me" (Jesus). Too much feeling bad can lead to stress and it can take a toll on your body. This is something you can’t rush, allow yourself time and space to process. Say the following chant: “I have honored our relationship with true love. Even though I didn't want to, I still found myself really attracted to her. -She reciprocates your feelings and engages in an emotionally unhealthy relationship with you. I have to give a bit of backstory for this question to make sense. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors.
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