Why Marriage Doesn’t Work for Our Generation
Courtship is dead in this age. If you live in the 1980s, you would find a very common scenario in most people who are attracted to each other. They go on dates. They would spend time and effort trying to be with that other person.
In an era where everything is instantaneous, it is very rare that you can ever find that type of person. We are simply not taking enough time to enjoy the process of being in a relationship. There is a study where it is found that Millenials would rather spend a couple of weeks of talking or hanging out with their person of interest before completely jumping into a relationship.
One thing that you should remember is that in the end, love will not make a relationship work. It is your ability to understand and tolerate your partner. In order to do so, you need to invest your time and effort in learning about your significant other.
With the rise of various social media platforms, it is getting easier to meet and get to know someone. This does not always change even if that person is in a relationship.
Back in the old times, a person would maximum have a social life within a city – simply because it is not as well connected as now. With the rise of social media platforms and the internet, the higher the chance that someone would succumb to temptation.
There is a study that found a quarter of men and women who are married admitted to cheating on their partner or being cheated by their partner. That is a huge number. This study also reports that the reason that people cheat is that they are unsatisfied with their partner however, they have not reached the point to break up with them.
Combine this myriad of feeling with the options and sources that the internet can offer you. Voila. You know the rest of the story.
3. Mistakes are permanent
In an era in which there are records of everything – mistakes are becoming permanent that it was before. You need to realize that anything that you do, or you talk about in social media can be recorded and is permanent.
Most of us do make bad decisions in life. Sometimes we talked badly about someone, or we show how unsatisfied we are in a relationship. But you never know if that content that you pushed in your social media account is not being used by any other person.
This makes it harder to trust someone as well. Not when there is a record of you speaking or uttering your words. A study found that when being asked whether or not people can be trusted, only 16% of millennials agreed. When the same study was conducted years before, it was found that the correspondents who agreed reach one a third more than Millenials. Is this a coincidence? Take your guess.
Since women and men had earned the right to vote, it has been assumed that women are equal to men. This is wrong.
In the modern age, women are expected to work as thrice as hard than a man. She is also expected to take care of the family, to attend social affairs, etc. This can cause resentment of the women. This resentment can put a strain on the marriage.
Not to mention that men have always had a problem with equality. Men have always been expected to provide the bread and butter to the family. This boosts a man’s ego.
With modern working women, a man’s ego can be bruised. Especially if he is not performing as well as his partner at work. This can affect the relationship greatly and can cause a strain as well.
The only solution to this matter is that you have to put yourself according to your relationship. There should be a mutual understanding of each of your roles. Sometime’s it might be the women who have a role to provide for the family, and maybe a man’s role to so. It is important that you should not feed into other people’s biases.
5. Broken homes
There is much evidence that a child that comes from a broken home is twice more likely to end up with one themselves.
A child from a broken home might not have known a better tactic or better conflict management from their parents when they are small. Because of this, many children end up repeating the cycle of what their parents once had. This cycle continues.
It is very hard to unlearn the habit that you picked up as a kid. If this continues, then it can simply be an endless cycle for your kids as well. The only way to stop this is by visiting a psychiatrist. You can also read a lot of physicology books that will be able to help you in managing your emotions, and help better conflict management.
Finance has become one of the reasons that most couples fight. More than 50% of Millenials reported the most difficult thing that they have to overcome is that they have to combine finances with someone who saves differently with them. Not to mention that the cost of living is higher today than it was in the 1980s. This is the main reason why do marriages not last anymore.
The only solution to this problem is for you to discuss finance and know about your partner’s financial habits.