Feeling Lonely in a Relationship: 5 Ways to Overcome it

a woman sitting om black chair at the window

Getting lonely in relationship

Many people confuse alone and lonely. Being surrounded by people doesn’t mean you can’t be lonely. Even so, you may think that you can’t feel lonely when in a relationship. You might be thinking that it is weird if you do and you are not normal. After all, there is someone beside you whom you love and they love you too so it’s all rainbows all the way. However, you are wrong.

Feeling lonely in a relationship is totally normal. In fact, studies show that more people are getting lonely in relationships than when they are alone. But why? There are various reasons why you feel lonely in a relationship but also there are ways you can overcome the feeling. Let’s dive in!


It happens too often when you feel that you have lost the mutual connection you’ve always had with your partner. You no longer look into each other’s eyes and understand it all. You never feel like your match understands. Most of the time this is an issue caused by lack of communication.

How do you reignite the passion and love you had with each other? How do you make your partner speak in code the way you used to? It’s all in the gestures. Communicate with your partner in order to get their minds back. Most of the time, the things you usually did when you were first dating can make you reconnect. Go to the place where you met or do something that will make you both instantly remember how amazing you felt. That‘s one of the ways you can overcome your loneliness.

hands of man and woman

You feel neglected

This could be all in your mind but it can happen. It could be physical or emotional. When you feel that you are emotionally neglected, you might be complaining about something and your partner doesn’t react or you might be having a problem and your partner doesn’t seem to give you support. It could be also physical where you feel like your sexual needs aren’t being met. That would become a problem and you’d feel really lonely.

To overcome loneliness in a relationship, sometimes you have to speak up. You have to tell your partner how you feel as they might not have any idea that you are feeling ignored. You should air out your complaints and sometimes if it happens that the problem is on your side i.e. you are too whiny, you’ll have to change. On the physical neglect, you should also be bold and suggest shake ups in your sexual routine. You should try to create an environment that will re-ignite the passion. That way you will know if your partner still cares for your needs.

woman sitting with back to the man on a bench

You are undergoing a difficult phase

There’s nothing threatening like a difficult time in a relationship. When one or both of you are going through a difficult phase, it won’t necessarily be realistic to cuddle each other all day. The two of you deal with sadness quite differently and if you do not find a common ground, you might feel lonely from time to time. This is evident in couples who lose a child and find ways they can distract themselves from their grief. However, it makes them grow apart and lonely.

When this happens, you need to find a common ground where as you can at least share your love. For a grieving couple, you might want to share the memories of the loved one. It not only overcomes loneliness but also makes the problem go away. Come together as one and the problem will be reduced if you combat it with unity.

a man sitting and hiding eyes with hand

You do not know yourself

The worst thing about not having any idea of who you are is you tend to not accommodate other people. You start feeling like you have no idea how you should react to certain issues or even feeling unsure about relationship viability. Some people actually beat themselves up by feeling guilty for failing the relationship. This makes you keep pondering about the issue and you then seclude yourself hence feeling lonely.

This is probably the time you’ve noticed that you’ve lost your identity by being immersed in the relationship. To overcome this, you have to get yourself to do the things you used to do before your relationship. Start hanging out with your friends, reconnect with your hobbies and interests. Within no time, you’ll start feeling like yourself again and you’d stop feeling lonely.

a man holding a woman by hand

You have no idea what you want in a relationship

This is an issue that many people in relationships face. You go into a relationship without knowledge of what you want and so you have no idea what you should expect. This brings up many issues like you feeling lonely because your partner isn’t delivering what you need. But what is it that you need? You have no idea too. You start drifting into the lonely planet because you are not feeling what you are supposed to feel. This is a tricky issue. However, it can be solved.

Now is the time to cut the chase and start questioning your decisions rationally. First off ask yourself what you want in life and then go on analyzing if your partner can let you reach there. This is where you evaluate your goals and theirs and see if you both are compatible with each other. Maybe you are not. If you are, talk to them about your plans and thoughts but if otherwise, cut the ties already before it’s too late.

Many times, you might say ‘’I feel alone in my relationship’’. It’s not abnormal. Confront the root cause and you’ll be happy again before you even know it.



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