Being in a relationship with people who have high emotional neediness can sometimes be exhausting and if care is not taken can lead to the breakdown of the relationship. Neediness usually arises due to the experience a person has had in his/her childhood or teenage age. It might be as a result of not getting enough attention, were taunted or were being bullied by friends or even parents. For such people, they would want to make up for the lost times in their current relationship and this might not be easy on the other partner. Even after the honeymoon period, these people do not know when to finally settle down to the business of the day – marriage and may not set healthy bounds for themselves. And this most of the time results in problems.
How to Spot Someone Who is Overly Needy?
We all are needy one way or the other. But the issue is when this neediness is more than normal which then leads to problems. There are different ways of spotting needy people, we highlight some of these ways in this piece.
1.Too Cautious of Everything
It can be sometimes annoying when your partner keeps this monitoring eye on you and wants to know everything that you are doing. You might feel insecure due to this because your partner might not be able to differentiate between what’s important to you and what’s not. If your spouse exhibits this attitude, then know that he/she is needy. And the bottom line is that he/she is yearning for more attention from you.
2. Your Partner Starts Bothering You When You Want Space
One thing needy women need to understand is that men love their “space” a lot. It’s like oxygen to them. They may need some time to chill out with friends, be at the games or work out at the gym. Like men, women also need their own free space sometimes. Your partner may make you feel as if you don’t have ample time for yourself anymore, but in actuality, your partner just misses you and wants you to make him/her more important. With this attitude, you should know for sure that your partner is needy.
3. Your Partner Makes You Feel Guilty if You Do Something For Yourself
If your partner makes you feel guilty when you take some time to treat yourself nice or buy some nice things for yourself, then know that he/she is not getting enough attention from you. Your partner may tell you that you are spending lots of time at the gym, fixing the car, in the grocery store, or in surfing the internet. When your partner makes you feel guilty with these and more signs, then know that he/she has neediness and needs help.
4. Sometimes It Seems Like Your Partner is Inciting a Fight For No Reason
When it seems like your partner loves to argue, this is not the case. It may be due to his/her cravings for your attention which is not readily available. if for example, your spouse is talking to you and you are simply nodding your head while watching TV, then you are sure to get a dose of hot arguments.
5. Your Partner Often Says That You Don’t Love Him/Her as You Claim You Do
Your partner might be craving for more love and attention and to you, it may seem as if you can’t give enough love. This is a sign of neediness. Some people’s thirst for love is insatiable especially women so you have to be there and help satisfy these cravings.
How to Deal With a Needy Partner
You never can tell who you might be in a relationship with now or the future so it is better that you learn about how you can handle neediness and needy persons. Create a balance as an adult, you need to respect your partner and his/her feel exactly the way you want yours to be respected. Even at that, set a limit but in a loving way on how you call or text the other person. Do not always call and ask where he/she is, or if he/she has eaten or not.
If you are a needy person, respect the other person’s private time. Constantly demanding excess care is a turn-off. Do not always call now and then just to say I miss you or be “nitpicking”. There is no need to always be angry or become annoying when your partner fails to say “I love you” or “I miss you”. Another important thing is that you should make sure you do not become afraid of your emotions. Rather, you should talk to your partner about these emotional needs and see how he/she would take it.
Do not isolate yourself from needy people, you can help fix them one way or the other. Therapy is a very helpful tool for fixing neediness. Another is to know the person’s life goals, pursuits or passions. Help the needy person get his/her life goal and you will surely notice that the amount of satisfaction they derive from getting achieving their dreams will relieve some of the needinesses that were earlier on you.