The importance of communication in relationships can never be overemphasized. It is the drive on which the relationship is powered. Open and honest communication is a must-have for any relationship that will survive and thrive through all times.
Communication Skills Every Couple Should Develop
The following relationship communication tips will help you improve communication between you and your partner.
Find the Right Time
If you have anything in mind that you are really worried about and want to talk to your partner about, the best way to do it is to find the right time to talk. You have knowledge about you and your partner’s schedule and this should help you easily decide the proper time when you and your partner will be calm and undistracted, and you can dedicate enough time to really talking about whatever issue you want to discuss. This is even more important when you both have busy schedules. You can always create time around your busy schedules to get a perfect time.
Always Talk In-person
Serious matters should not be relegated to digital means of communication or writing, it should be physical and face-to-face! Discussing serious issues over text, letters, and emails is problematic because it might not be interpreted the way you intend it to be. However, with a one-on-one physical discussion, you can clearly convey your thoughts in the exact words and tone which you want it to be conveyed. If you feel you have a problem with collecting your thoughts, you can write them down and use it as a point of reference when talking with your spouse.
Avoid Attacking Your Partner
Word choice, language, and tone of voice are very important in communication. There are times where your well-meaning conversation might come across as harsh and judgemental because of your word choice and tone. When talking to your partner, no matter how angry you get, be very careful of the words you use and how you sound. Instead of saying “You” which insinuates accusation and judgemental bias, use words like “we” and “I”. For example, instead of saying “You don’t care about me”, say something like “I feel there’s a lot we need to improve in the caring department”. This will not single your partner out for accusation rather will involve both of you taking actions to get better and improve your relationship.
This is quite a hard relationship communication skill to imbibe. There are a lot of times in a relationship where you might decide to manipulate the truth because of fear of hurting your partner or for other reasons. While it might be very hard to speak the truth on such occasions, it is still the best thing to do if your relationship will stand the chance of growing healthy. Admit your imperfection and apologize whenever you make a mistake and not make excuses. This will not only make you feel good about yourselves, but it will also strengthen your relationship and deepen your communication.
Body Language Is Important
You must maintain good body language when communicating with your spouse. Make sure that you sit up, facing them and make eye contact with your partner to show them that you are interested in their discussion. Do not use your phone, text, pick calls or whatever when communicating with your partner. Ensure your body language augments your listening and gives the assurance of your concentration to your partner., this way you will communicate better with yourselves.
Make Use of the 48-hour Rule
This tip of effective communication with your spouse says that if your partner has done anything to get you angry at them, before telling them or flaring up, let some time pass. If after 48 hours you’re still hurt and angry about what they did, then you can go ahead and tell them about it. However, if you are not anymore angry or hurt after 48 hours, you might as well just forget it and let it go. Making use of this rule will ensure that you don’t nag about issues that are not relevant or necessary. If you get angry and tell your partner about it, once they apologize or show remorse, you should take the apology and forget about the issue.
It’s perfectly not strange for people in relationships to be angry at each other for one thing or another. The important aspect of it is the resolution of such conflicts and anger. Whenever you are angry, before you do something that you might end up wishing you had not, you need to first stop and take a breathe either by going for a walk, watching TV or any other thing you can find to do. Think about the situation after you’ve taken the break and are no longer angry. Find out what really the problem is and then at this point, you can now talk about it with your partner.
Communication, although important in a relationship is not always an easy thing to get done. It requires paying proper attention to your partner, listening effectively to see from your partner’s perspective, letting go of some things, and cementing the trust in each other. Whenever your partner does something to get you to anger, forgive them readily, communicate effectively, and see your relationship grow stronger by the day.