What Causes Insecurity in a Relationship?

a man saying soemething emotionally to a woman

There are many thoughts insecure people entertain in their minds which pushes them to do a lot of surprising stuff which time will not permit us to completely enumerate. Insecurity in a relationship refers to constant suspicion, or doubt, of the intentions of a partner. This may result in issues in the relationship which may easily spell its end.

You undervalue yourself too much:

Undervaluing yourself is one of the major steps in becoming an insecure half of a relationship. This makes you feel lesser than what you are and forces you to rate your partner as being too good for you. This feeling may drive you to carry out unbelievable acts to amplify the fears you have. I have a very important piece of advice for you, nobody is better than you are only if you believe it first. If you are finding it difficult to believe, then take a look at your partner and how he relates to you. If he/she expresses undying love for you by actions and words, then you should rate yourself as one of the best in the world rather than thinking that your partner is too good for you.

You’ve transformed yourself into an intelligence agent:

Some partners in a relationship are experts in this area. You have developed the skills of an FSB agent because of the constant need to find out who he/she’s been texting, which members of the opposite sex liked his/her status update on social media, and so on. If you are unable to perform your intelligence-gathering op for a long period, a feeling of insecurity may build up faster than the legs of the world’s fastest man. Hounding your spouse’s electronic devices for info doesn’t help your relationship; it only builds up your insecurity.

You are always disconnected from your partner:

The ability to connect in a relationship is one of the most vital tools in warding off insecurity. Having a special moment with your partner every now and then has a special formula to connect you both and re-assure you both that the love is real and has come to stay. This helps you from ever being insecure because even if your partner is away for a long while, the moments you spend with each other are so valuable and assuring that the thought of being insecure doesn’t even come up.

a woman with brown hais and a sad man behind her

You have difficulty being open to your partner:

Openness is one of the most vital tools for any successful relationship. This I can assure you from my personal experience. If you are offended by a partner through a mistake here and there, the best thing to do is not to keep the act as an offense against your partner but to open up and demand an explanation or apology. Keeping your partner’s wrong deeds in your heart could easily transform you into a fire-breathing dragon releasing fire here and there that will take more time to resolve and may build up insecurity within you. Be sincere and plain to your partner when an issue arises to continue building a strong relationship.

You’re now the new psychoanalyst on the block:

Your partner initiates a conversation with you about his ex-girlfriend he bumped into on his way to work. Through the conversation, the only thing you are interested in is the look on your spouse’s face. You constantly try to decipher whether he’s still in love with her or not. This also is another source of building insecurity in a relationship. If you want to be a psychologist, don’t practice your skills on your partner, take it somewhere else where it’ll benefit you.

You now use GPS to locate your partner:

Insecurities in a relationship can turn the insecure party to a very intelligent individual indeed, but for the wrong duty. Insecure partners are known to trail their other half over the suspicion that they may be having an affair. Being a great locator is one of the qualities of a good police detective, but is not very useful in keeping a secure relationship.

Foreign interference:

Listening to the information from a third-party concerning your partner is evidence that you have already been insecure before the informant came around. One of the ways to keep your relationship intact and free from hear-say is to consistently rebuke the providers of information about your partner. This keeps you from harboring any thoughts contrary to what will build up and sustain the relationship. Avoiding “breaking news” from the “caring, loving” newscaster saves you from thinking negative about your spouse.

a woman looking up and a man aside


Although it is good to avoid what causes insecurity in a relationship, a question comes to mind “What if my partner is really doing something funny?” You can clear your doubts if you believe your doubts are irrefutable by hiring a private investigator. Private investigators are skilled individuals, and their services are relatively cheap. Hiring a private investigator can be a win-win situation for you if you look at it this way. If the investigator discovers something, your suspicions have now become fact and you can proceed to confront your spouse to resolve or dissolve the situation. If the investigator finds nothing concrete, your love for your partner could hit a new high and give insecurity no seal at your table.



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