Some simple rules to follow to make your break-up less painful.
Divorce can be painful for both men and women. How to get over it? Let’s try to see it from a woman’s point of view.
The number one advice is NOT to concentrate on your past negative experience and try not to shrink into yourself. What is definitely to be done? Set yourself up for POSITIVE things.
# 1 Rule to follow is broadening your acquaintance network. The more friends you have at this period of your life, the better!
#2 Rule is not to dwell too much on your past relationship. Remember that it is in the past and DO NOT go too deep into the analysis. Now, at the point when the relationship is broken, it really does not matter who is more ‘guilty’, a man or a woman. The folk wisdom says that ‘if two people break up, both are responsible for it’.
It definitely makes no sense to think how mistakes of your marriage could have been avoided. Remember that now everything has been left behind and there is no one to blame.
#3 Getting over a divorce may be difficult if you have not actually forgiven your ex. Do not let this pain burden your heart. Psychologists often recommend to get rid of all the items (presents etc.) that remind you of your former husband.
#4 You should always consider a possibility of consulting a psychologist. Friends are friends, but professional opinion would do no harm. Of course before going you should check the recommendations of the person, you are going to share your sorrow with.
#5 Though this advice goes the fifth in the list, it is maybe the most important one. Make your schedule as tight as possible! When you have planned to write a report, to read a new book and to meet your friends in one day, you simply have no time to think about divorce.
#6 Make definite plans for your future. And this is not about setting goals and time-management. There is no need to plan strictly, to think up smaller sub-goals and to punish yourself for not having accomplished some tasks. The point is, that in such life situation even a small personal victory can raise your self-esteem and perk up your mood considerably. When you see positive changes after several months of hard work, it really encourages you.
A short plan how to recover after divorce
And last but not least, a short plan on how to live through a painful breakup.
Day one: it is advisable just to cry as long as you can, experience feelings of regret and sorrow to the full. If tears do not appear, watch a sad movie or listen to some melancholic music. Be sure that you spent on crying over your ‘fish tale’ not more than one day. When tears are over, you can say you have picked yourself up. So it is time to move on and start your life all over again.