Comparing Relationship to Past: Stop It Right Now
When you start dating with your new crush, you might often try to compare your relationship to the past. Although it is absolutely normal, there are still some cases, when you just can’t stop thinking of your former lover. This way, everything might seem better in the past rather than right now. How can you stop comparing relationship to the first love? We’ve collected a number of tips from professional psychologists that are likely to help you overcoming the issue.
7 Tips on How to Stop Comparing Current Relationship to Your Ex
1. Avoid rebound relationship. Although some of your friends might give you advice to find new love to forget your former crush, this trick is not always working. Being in the rebound relationship will definitely make you think and compare your ex-partner to your new one. First, this is not fair for your new boyfriend or girlfriend. Second, it is not likely to provide you any relief. The best option in this case is to have a break in the relationship and study your own preferences and needs. You might do anything you’ve always wanted to do: go traveling, study foreign language, visit open-air or just make a crazy haircut.
2. Make a list of positive features of your new partner. Are they more caring, attentive and hard-working? Or are they amazing cookers? You might not even notice, how many awesome qualities your new partner has.
3. Remember the reasons for break-up with your ex. Cheating? Abuse? Irreconcilable contradictions? The reasons you’ve turned apart with your ex crush are likely to be more than serious. Therefore, plenty of positive moments are not the only things you’ve experienced with your ex. You will also need to realize that you can’t find two completely similar partners. All of us have our own good features and imperfections.
4. Focus on positive things. Your new crush is likely to make your relationship bright: making romantic gestures, small gifts and just taking care of you. Remember, that you can’t bring back your past, but you can create a brilliant future.
5. Search for new amazing memories. Visit new places; try anything awesome with your new partner. This is a simple trick, when your new positive impressions will substitute your past memories.
6. Avoid looking for your ex’s activity in social media. How does his or her new crush look like? How are they spending time together? Searching for the answers to these questions might become disappointing and devastating for you. Although it might seem difficult, try to leave your memories and connections in the past. People tend to demonstrate only perfect things about themselves in social media. That is why comparing you relationship to others might easily become frustrating.