Excitement at the start of relationship
The start of relationships can be filled with intense excitement and acing love. Getting to know cool things about each other, discovering what you share in common, exploring different worlds you came from and sometimes hot sex. A lot of good stuff, right? And you feel like everything is working out the way it’s supposed to. That’s good but it’s also important to not overlook the what ifs.
Where love is hot is where mistakes happen most. You’ve had fun, yes and you see that it is leading to more long-term commitments. You do not want to spoil the fun so you ignore some red flags and say everything will turn out fine. After all, love will conquer everything, right? Wrong. The following are early relationship red flags that you should avoid.
It starts where you identify some mishaps but you choose to play it cool. You see your partner texting someone else with heart-filled eyes and you are like ‘’that could be their mom sister…’’ Doesn’t have to be exactly that but you keep telling your always right instincts to keep off. You keep seeing stuff you do not like but you rationalize the happenstances or hold on to the few good parts.
It’s true, not everyone is perfect but if you see any red flag, it is important to confront it. Whether you are scared of being lonely or you are fond of giving people second chances, it’s important to confront things that you won’t be happy about beforehand. You can talk to your partner or if it can’t be solved, quit when it hasn’t gone too deep to dig yourself out.
Skyrocketing to bigger steps
Yes, it all can go really fast especially when you know they are the one. However, making big decisions without getting to know each other will be one of the biggest mistakes in your life. For instance, talking about marriage when you started dating for two weeks or moving in within three days is a bad bad idea. It maybe steaming hot now but when you start discovering some things you can’t accommodate, it may be too late.
All this can be avoided easily. Get to know each other better so you can see if it can make it in the long term. Spend time knowing each other on a deeper level, get to know their friends and family then you can take the leap. Yeah, it’s a leap because even then you might not be sure. Take it slow and see where your connection takes you. If it keeps getting better then you have your way forward.
Pausing your life
This is a major mistake people do the moment they get a significant other. If you used to go to yoga, it’s done. You spend time talking and meeting up and sooner or later you realize that you’ve been neglecting your life. Or you might not notice and you’ll go on and sometime later, you are clinging to the relationship like it’s your lifeline. It won’t take long; the love bubble bursts and your partner are telling you to get a life. Brutal huh? Well it’s the sad reality.
Putting your life on hold when you get into a relationship is the worst idea ever? When you know what to look for in a relationship you’ll find out that boundaries are one of the vital factors. And it doesn’t exclude the early part of a relationship. You need to both have separate lives so that you can appreciate the time you spend with each other more.
Figuring yourself out
The time to figure yourself out is when you are solo. When you are around friends a lot, you notice that getting in touch with your true self becomes a problem. This is because, they are feeding their own personalities in you such that whatever you are trying to uncover about yourself stays hidden for long. The same happens to when you are in a relationship.
If you are not sure who you are yet, discover and then you can move forward to searching for someone. If you don’t, your partner wasn’t ready to come with you during your self-discovery and that would ruin the relationship before it even started. It is called self-discovery for a reason. The process can’t be done by a duo.
This is the part that almost everyone fails. We want to show off the good qualities and keep the dark ones undercover. The qualities you hide do not have to be downright bad. If you feel insecure about them, you might not want to share because it will spoil the fun. However, as time goes, you’ll obviously unravel to your true self or worse, you might be successful in keeping it under wraps until the partner finds out. Your bright relationship will turn to a nightmare because of fights and even a break up surface.
You do not have to tell your secrets on the first date, no. As time goes, if you think things are getting into the long-term direction, it’ll be better if you come clean. In contrary of when you don’t, laying it all out might reinforce trust like never before. Start your relationship on a clean slate to avoid the emotional drain that comes with hurtful discoveries.
Where to learn how to make a relationship work is right at the beginning. Do not worry about what if it ruins the relationship. Cross the bridge early and if it’s meant to be, it will be.